I haven't blogged in quite a while as my life has been in some turmoil and I'm just getting into a new groove. I left my alcoholic husband on Dec 6 and filed for divorce on the 8th. We had been married for 19 years. His drinking has been a problem for most of those 19 years. I had spent much of it forcing myself to love someone I didn't even like and who was incredibly mean when drinking. I had finally had enough. This was a very difficult decision for me. I am a staunch believer in marriage and all it stands for. While ending it seemed wrong, survival instincts took over and I fled.
So, while the divorce rages on, I am starting all over again. I have a place of my own, though I don't own this one. I have peace and tranquility. I have the ability and opportunity to put my talents and desire to help others into action. I feel rested, calm and my home now feels warm and inviting; a place I WANT to come home to every night.
I will be able to accomplish more on my sewing machine and more of my baskets and more gardening and more activities with community groups. I won't be tied up with serving someone who thinks that is the only reason I'm here and isn't happy with anything I do anyway.
So, onward and upward as my farmgirl friends have said. I can do wonderful things now for myself, my grown children, grandchildren, friends and community. I am looking forward to the me that has been kept down all these years.
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